Humorous Golf Quotes
"The golf swing is like sex. You can't be thinking about the mechanics of the act while you are performing it." Dave Hill
"Golf is a fascinating game. It has taken me nearly 40 years to discover that I can't play it." Ted Ray
"My swing is so bad; I look like a caveman killing his lunch." Lee Trevino
"They call it golf because all the other four letter words were taken." Ray Floyd
"Don't play too much golf. Two rounds a day are plenty." Harry Vardon
"Golf's three ugliest words: Still your shot." Dave Marr
"If a lot of people gripped a knife and fork the way they do a golf club, they'd starve to death." Sam Snead
"If I had cleared the trees and drove the green, it would have been a great shot." Sam Snead
Golf quotes that also apply to life
"One of the most fascinating things about golf is how it reflects the cycle of life. No matter what you shoot - the next day you have to go back to the first tee and begin all over again and make yourself into something." Peter Jacobsen
"The older you get, the stronger the wind gets; and it's always in your face." Jack Nicklaus
"Success in golf depends less on strength of body more on strength of mind and character." Arnold Palmer
"Golf is the closest game to the game we call life. You get bad breaks from good shots; you get good breaks from bad shots - but you have to play the ball where it lies." Bobby Jones
"A kid grows up a lot faster on the golf course. Golf teaches you how to behave." Jack Nicklaus
"I never learned anything from a match that I won." Bobby Jones
"As you walk down the fairway of life you must smell the roses, for you only get to play one round." Ben Hogan
"Concentration comes out of a combination of confidence and hunger." Arnold Palmer
"A bad attitude is worse than a bad swing." Payne Stewart
"Of all of the hazards, fear is the worst." Sam Snead
Golf Instruction Quotes
"Competitive golf is played mainly on a five-and-a-half-inch course... the space between your ears." Bobby Jones
"I get as much fun as the next man from whaling the ball as hard as I can and catching it squarely on the button. But from sad experience I learned not to try this in a round that meant anything." Bobby Jones
"This is a game of misses. The guy who misses the best is going to win." Ben Hogan
"Nobody asked how you looked, just what you shot." Sam Snead
"If there is one thing I have learned during my years as a professional, it is that the only thing constant about golf is its inconstancy." Jack Nicklaus
"The mind messes up more shots than the body." Tommy Bolt
"Be decisive. A wrong decision is generally less disastrous than indecision." Bernhard Langer
"Forget the last shot. It takes so long to accept that you can't always replicate your swing. The only thing you can control is your attitude toward the next shot." Mark McCumber
"Golf is a difficult game, but it's a little easier if you trust your instincts. It's too hard a game to try and play like someone else." Nancy Lopez
"You can talk about strategy all you want, but what really matters is resiliency." Hale Irwin
"You swing your best when you have the fewest things to think about." Bobby Jones
"Golf is not a game of great shots. It's a game of accurate misses." Gene Littler
"Most fine putters are putters subconsciously. Putting is a phychology, not a system." Mickey Wright
"The Ultimate Judge of your swing is the flight of the ball." Ben Hogan
"Play every shot so that your next one will be the easiest one you can give yourself." Billy Casper
"If you can't hit driver, don't." Greg Norman
"Golf is a game of finding what works, losing it, and finding it again." Ken Venturi
"Many shots are spoiled at the last instant by efforts to add a few more yards." Bobby Jones
"No good player ever swings as hard as he can. Power is a matter of timing , not overpowering the ball." Arnold Palmer
"When you're playing poorly, you start thinking too much. That's when you confuse yourself." Greg Norman
"Golf is deceptively simple and endlessly complicated; it satisfies the soul and frustrates the intellect. It is at the same time rewarding and maddening - and it is without a doubt the greatest game mankind has ever invented." Arnold Palmer
I just have to add a few final quotes from great teachers
“Golf tips are like aspirin. One may do you good, but if you swallow the whole bottle you will be lucky to survive. “ Harvey Penick
“A pretty girl will always have the toughest time learning to play golf, because every man wants to give her lessons.” Harvey Penick
“Looking up is the biggest alibi ever invented to explain a terrible shot. By the time you look up, you've already made the mistake.” Harvey Penick
“I compare the pressure of a golf shot with making an extra point in basketball. The player starts from a full stop, and that rim doesn't move.” Harvey Penick
Last but not least is one of my all-time favorites:
“Golf is like a love affair. If you don't take it seriously, it's no fun; if you do take it seriously, it breaks your heart.” Arthur Daley
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